It’s very difficult not to get irritated by those men who try to equate the challenge of wearing hijab with their own “challenge” of keeping a beard.

The fear being of course that men might belittle the believing women and look down upon them, and conflate the difficulty of what women face with what the men face themselves, and thus not appreciate their struggles at all.

Brothers, your growing your beard isn’t even 10% of the mission, the fitnah, the danger or even the Islamic obligation that the hijab is. Yes, even though the majority of scholars consider it obligatory to grow a beard as best as one can, there are still differing levels of obligation. So for you to feel good about yourself keeping a beard but expecting your sisters to match your “sacrifice” by reciprocating with a hijab is a joke frankly. It’s comparing chalk and cheese. She wouldn’t be reciprocating. She would be exceeding.

Your beard can be short. It can be long. It doesn’t have to look lame, it can be shaped within set parameters, and enhances a man and shows him in his best natural form. A beard invites respect and doesn’t make you look weak. Women should be physically attracted to a proper man with a proper beard, and most are alhamdulillah. You look unnatural without one, naked almost, and very few want to see men naked.

In summary, you could keep a beard for the sake of Allah. And you could keep it for a multitude of materialistic reasons. And so many do.

The hijab on the other hand is almost the exact opposite. There’s very little room to play with. It doesn’t enhance a woman because her best natural form is obviously without it. A hijab invites racist criminals and puts her in potential danger, far more than men will be with a beard. Men shouldn’t be physically attracted to a proper woman with a proper hijab otherwise they’d make her keep it on day and night. And most don’t alhamdulillah. And a woman looks absolutely great without one, naked almost, and very many want to see women naked.

In summary, you’d never put on a hijab for any reason other than for the sake of Allah. And for those very few who might wear hijab for other than Allah’s sake, well, they must have completely lost their minds.

Dear brother, that makes her better than you straight away when you are trying to make a comparison between the two states. And that makes the struggle to get to those states different as well. Remember that next time when you feel something negative in your heart against your uncovered sister. Make du’a for her instead. Indeed, make one for yourself. Please.

And yes dear sister, for the record let me also say to you: the proper Islamic hijab and its associated behaviour is a definite and absolute obligation which you must all strive for immediately. It is something that must not be seen as minor or insignificant, and must be prioritised and you really must try your best.

Despite what might be described as my friendly demeanour with all those uncovered sisters I know (and don’t know i.e. online) from my students, or those who benefit from my work, or are just on this site passing by, it does pain me deeply that the struggle is still overcoming you as I would dearly love for you all to gain the supreme pleasure of Allah jalla wa ‘ala in your sacrifices for Him.

But as most of you should all know by now, I’m here for you always. Never hesitate to hook me up whenever you see me. I’ll always have your back and remember we’re all part of the Struggle. Because it’s our Struggle. Together.

And it really is real.

#NeverGiveUp

5 Comments

  • Aishachaudhary@Me.com' Aisha Chaudhary says:

    Salaam brother. Jzk for the blog and the recognition of the struggle. May Allah swt reward you for your efforts in bringing us together and nurturing us to behave as an ummah.

    I just wanted to mention that I believe hijab is also extended to men in their dress code. Albeit not the common hijab we associate with women, more so for men to dress appropriately. Ie not to wear skinnies, low cut jeans and tops and open button fitted shirts. In addition I often wonder why so much focus is placed on the beard and such little focus given to ankle length cut trousers for men. It seems this is less important – your thoughts and comments are welcome.

    Ma’salaama

  • shamim.sana111@gmail.com' Shamim says:

    SubhanAllah, this contemporary issue is thoughtfully explained by brother Eesa. May Allah subhanawata’ala bless us all and give us courage to adhere all basics of our deen in our daily lives.

  • ibahtj@gmail.com' Ahmed Ibrahim says:

    Salaam alaikum brother,
    I must say it has been an eye-opener for me reading that piece. Most guys actually ignore our own hijab and try to focus more on that of the woman. In most cases,it appears to be happening out of ignorance . Most guys are completely confused when it comes to talking about the deen. The only time a brother would talk about the deen is when he is preparing to meet a ‘deenious’ sister. He tries everything possible to make her feel he is an angel sent from heaven. He tries to tone down and be very courteous just for the sake of pleasing her and not the Almighty.
    Looking at the comment by sister Aisha,
    i agree with you in all your submissions and from myself,i would pay heed to it and try extending that piece to other brothers.
    Jazaakumullahu khair

  • zakhum@hotmail.com' Shahid says:

    In your enthusiasm to please the women, don’t belittle the beard! There are plenty of Muslim (and non-Muslim [eg sikh]) men who have been attacked because of their beard, so don’t pretend that only Muslimat get attacked because of their hijab.

    The beard doesn’t has free reign to be “short”, “long”, “lame,”, or within “set parameter”s by each individual. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said to trim the mustache and grown the beard. That’s it, there is no other parameter. People who do anything but let it grow are not doing it right.

    As for the hijab, the way women wear it is a joke. That’s right, majority of women wear the hijab incorrect; just as majority of the men grow the beard incorrect.

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